


Terror on the Toilet

by lillykins



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Crack, Gen, PSA, Partial Nudity, Poor Yuri, Public Bathroom, Realistic, This actually Happens, Toilet, Yuri Plisetsky uses Foul Language, bkns
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-08
Packaged: 2018-11-29 08:49:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11437371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lillykins/pseuds/lillykins
Summary: A realistic representation of the horror that is an arena changing room toilet told through the perspective of a very angry Yuri Plisetsky.





	Terror on the Toilet

**Author's Note:**

  * For [foxfireflamequeen](https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxfireflamequeen/gifts).



> This really happens!
> 
> foxfireflamequeen is a true enabler. Thank you for your knowledge and insights that made this fic possible. 
> 
> Have a beautiful day.

Everything was just fucking fine until he needed to take a shit. Yuri drew the last spot in the first group of skaters. It was a good position because his fantastic performance would hang over all the other skaters and he would get to watch as everyone else tried to overtake his score. 

That is until he had to take a shit. 

It was just after his warm up time and stupid Katsudon was about to take the ice. Victor was too wrapped up in his husbands' performance to notice that Yuri needed help and there was no way in hell he was going to ask Yakov. He couldn’t go down the hall to the public’s bathroom because he was in his full costume and skates. His only choice was to use the toilet in the changing room. Alone.

The horrifying, terrible, open to the air, changing room toilet. 

It was straight from a fucking nightmare. 

During a competition the changing room was a revolving door of people moving in and out of the room, going about their business. In the corner, like an afterthought was the toilet. The tile around the toilet was grimy and cracked but, at least the thing itself looked like it had been cleaned… sometime in the past ten years.

He thought about changing before he had to use it but there was no time. It was this or shit himself during a biellmann spin. 

To make things worse, he was fresh off the ice. A thin layer of sweat covered him under his tight spandex bodysuit. He was seventeen for fuck sake, why was he still forced to wear a body suit like a Goddamn child. Aesthetics were not worth this bulshit. 

At least he was flexible enough to get the zipper down himself. 

The stupid tight sleeves turned inside out as he peeled them off his arms and it was going to be a bitch to get back on again. Spandex and sweat never agreed. When he finally had the sleeves off he pulled the costume down to his waist. He was so angry about all of this wasn’t paying enough attention and one of the sleeves fell into the toilet bowl. 

Of course it did. Right into the fucking toilet bowl. 

He left the fucking thing in there while he savagely yanked his costume down the rest of the way. It gave him a perverse sort of pleasure to watch the sleeve flick toilet bowl water across the room when he spun around to sit down. 

If he had to deal with toilet bowl water, so did everyone else.

Yuri closed his eyes and pretended as hard as he could that he was alone in the room. It didn’t much matter at this point because he had to go so bad but, privacy would have been fucking nice.

That’s when he realized the true horror of his situation. In his blind rage he forgot to check the most important thing. The most fundamentally needed part of any toilet experience. 

There was no fucking toilet paper. 

There wasn’t even an empty roll on the holder. There wasn’t even a holder, just a gap in the tiles that was fucking laughing at him.

He looked around the room in a barely controlled panic. Who would help him? There was no way in hell he would ask a stranger to find toilet paper for him so his choices were Chris and Phichit. Yuri shuttered. Anyone but Chris, a stranger before Chris. 

His only option was Phichit.

Phichit looked over when Yuri called his name and his eyes immediately took on the glassy look of fear. 

“Phichit, please.” Yuri was fucking pathetic and he knew it. 

Phichit blushed all the way down his neck and ran off as fast as he could. Yuri was ready to cry with frustration but Phichit came back just as quickly as he had left. He had a roll of toilet paper and a bottle of powder with him. 

Thankfully, he stopped at a respectable distance and rolled his gifts over to Yuri. He ran off again but that didn’t matter. Phichit was a Thai god among men. 

As soon as Yuri got himself cleaned up he started with the powder. He spread it on his legs quickly so he could at least pull his pants up before he had to cover the rest of himself with powder. This was going alright until he realized that he couldn’t zip the the zipper.

He was a gold medalist back at worlds to defend his title and he was going to be defeated by a fucking zipper. 

Yuri heard someone step up behind him and he tensed his body. How could this possibly get worse?

Chris’ low chuckle answered the question for him. 

He spat out a quick “Fuck you, Chris” before the other man could speak. 

Chris’ laughter grew deeper as he replied. “Claws in, kitten. We’ve all been here. Let me help you with your zipper and we can all forget this ever happened.” 

As soon as Yuri had his costume zipped up, he stomped out to the rink. He didn’t say thank you to Chris because he didn’t deserve it after laughing at Yuri’s expense. 

The only thing that would make this situation ok was for Yuri to win another gold medal, and goddamnit, that’s what he going to do, toilet bowl water and all. 


End file.
